On Valentine’s Day a few weeks ago I had my first official “Galentine’s Day” lunch with some close girlfirends. It was fun to see them and use “Galentine’s” as an excuse to get together.  Not that we don’t see each other, we do. I’m just flat grateful to have these women in my life. Plus, our conversations are always good. They are usually a bit controversial and spriited. Topics range from husbands, politics, child rearing or whatever hot topic is in the news. And, we don’t always agree, which I love, because what fun would we have if we agreed on everything?  So, I threw the question out to them about the newly released 50 Shades of Grey film, 50 Shades Freed. It had just released as the hot Valentine’s Day film this year.  I simply had to know what they thought, as this is not a topic I would normally bring up. What prompted me to even ask was that I went to see a G-rated film with my daughter on the previous Friday night, and couldn’t help but notice the crowds going into the 50 Shades Freed cinema. I thought, “Wow, people can’t get enough of that shit.”  When I approached my girlfriends with the topic of this new film, their response was cringing and eye rolling. I honestly I had no idea what to expect from them, but it seemed our feelings were shared. One of my girlfriends admitted she was had caught 50 Shades Darker ( the second film) on HBO in her hotel room while away on business, and could only get through twenty minutes. She said it made her mad and advised that I see it, or at least a part of it. So I did my research, got through twenty minutes and I felt the same. I couldn’t watch it either. I kind of wanted to poke my eyes out. Twenty minutes of viewing this film was plenty. Both of the main actors in it were beautiful. I will give them that. The acting? Lackluster and one dimensional.The premise of the film, humiliating. Right, humiliating.

Why you may ask did I find it humiliating? I mean, it is considered hot mommy porn and the books have been popular for years.  Hot sex scenes, S & M and domination. Sounds amazing, right? Nope.

What got me was the messaging to women. In case you haven’t read the books, or seen the films, here is premise of the series. Hot young  wealthy emotionally disturbed guy who likes S & M looks for a female to dominate. The main female character has the power to tame his wild ways, and he falls in love with her.

Here are the bullet points a female will walk away with .

1. Men love a damsel in distress.
2. Being subservient is desired by men.
3. Getting beaten, spanked or whipped is okay – as long as he is hot and powerful.
4. Women should tolerate mood swings and dominant behavior to get the guy with money.
5. He will take care of you and give you a job if you give him what he wants.

Do you see my problem with this?  Look, I get fantasy, I get the hot sex scenes. What I don’t get is this messaging to women. I don’t want my niece, daughter, sister or friends to think this is what needs to be done to get a man. This goes against everything we trying to achieve as a gender, so why is Hollywood still relying on these old tactics to gain fans and shape women’s minds?

What do you think? And, you don’t have to agree with me. As I mention above, my best of friends and I don’t agree on plenty of things. Please share your thoughts and let me know!! Bring on the conversation!